i have no idea how to start.
i've always had an issue with
my image. lack of confidence.
maybe its because i'm different.
different from the average girls here.
shorter girls look slimmer. ):
i wish i could be shorter and
way thinner than what i am now.
and guys always like smaller girls.
singaporean guys at least. BAHH.

i'm always standing out. literally.
clothes in singapore are catered
for the average singaporeans.
its either too puny or too short.
sometimes i just wanna dress
outrageously like the eurasians do.
i mean since hardly anyone thinks
that i'm a singaporean.
i just wanna sashay down town
clad in high heels, crop top,
mini skirt and wayfarers.
i just wanna be skinny.

i wanna get breast fillers
nose fillers, do liposuction.
EVERYTHING. i feel unpretty.
there's like this perfectionist side
of me. i wanna be perfect.
i wanna be perfect like a supermodel.
i wanna be clothe in pretty clothes,
wear five inch heels all day long.
just because im tall, it doesnt
mean that i cant wear heels.
i wanna be abnormally normal.

just because my skirt/dress is short
doesnt mean that i'm a slut.
just because my top is revealing
doesnt mean you have to stare.
just because i'm in heels
doesnt mean you're short.
i just wanna look beautiful on the
outside to mask my inferior soul.

i'm tired.
crying is not my forte.
but holding them back aint either.
tired of how the world sees me.
tired to see how imperfect i am.


/i cant give you perfection but you can
have this broken/imperfect soul if
you want.
twenty days.